The Bike Ride in Mt. Glorious

I've been so busy in my work recently that I haven't put any time aside for myself until this week because I am having a quite time at work. It's the lull after the storm so to speak. Anyway, we haven't had any rain for weeks and the ground is rock hard so I can't pursue my favourite pastime of gardening so I decided to pump up the tyres on my mountain bike and take myself for a ride through the forest. The weight has been gradually going in the wrong direction so this will help me to get back into those tight Levis and make me feel better.

I am surrounded by mountains (hills if you live in Europe) which are so close to my house that I only ever drive through them or go on the occasional rain forest walk at the summit, so today it was time to go exploring. I set off alone at midday with 1 Litre of water, a mobile phone and a pair of gloves to my name. With hindsight that was pretty stupid as I will explain. The track started with a choice of directions, right or left, I chose left which took me through a metal gate and next to it was a sign on a tree warning trespassers to keep out, after a nanosecond I chose to continue on up the hill. The hill was so steep that I had to carry my bike over loose rocks with my cycle shoes slipping on the unstable ground. This was going to be a challenge for me, I haven't had my arse in a saddle for months and only then was it with the kids on the flat. Would my dodgy knee hold out? Don't know about that but I was puffing and panting and drinking water just to lubricate my throat so that I could get some air into my lungs. Water is not my favourite drink unless it has been fermented so I figured that one bottle would be enough to get me by for a couple of hours. Well this bloody track leveled out to about a 15% gradient so I got back on my trusted steed and continued in the lowest gear, for at least 50m. That was about as far as anyone could go without falling off. I looked at my watch and had been going uphill for 50 mins and had covered 3 miles, how disheartening is that?

When I reached the rain forest I thought that I was at the summit of Mt. Glorious, the path levelled out and I started to enjoy the ride, for about 5 mins that is and promptly got off to push the bike up another bloody steep hill. The ride was like this for ages until I reached the top of a hill then it got easier. I discovered an abandoned house with only the timber posts and roof members still in place, how I would love to renovate this place and use it for a weekend retreat. I plodded on and headed down hill very quickly, now the fun was starting, the wind in my face cooling down my hot body and making me feel alive. Bell birds were all around making their distinctive vitriolical sound that echoes all around, you very rarely see them, in fact until today I hadn't ever seen them. No people around to ask directions of, checked my mobile phone and no signal either, checked my water bottle and it was half full (notice I didn't say half empty). Well this cycling was fun but I had to keep my wits about me because if I got lost then I had to be able to backtrack, many a hiker has left the main track and got lost and I didn't need the embarrassment of a search party looking for me. When the sun sets up here you can't see your hand in front of your face it is so dark, the temp is usually 8c cooler up here than at our house and I didn't fancy sleeping under trees with ants and no blanket. Plodding on, I came to a choice of left or right again and went right, a bit further on was the same so I went right and made sure to look behind me so that I could recognise the turn if I had to back track. The trail started going uphill again and I was hoping that this route would take me down to the main road but I worked out that I was following a fire trail along the top of a ridge but had no idea which one. It was my first time up there all alone and I didn't want any trouble so I decided to go for 5 more mins then turn around. I saw a car wheel and tyre on the side of the track and thought that's weird, looked up and saw the abandoned building again and made a sigh of relief that I wasn't lost. It was 2 hrs since leaving home and it gets dark at 5.30pm so I wasn't taking any chances. I remember approaching the building with it on my left side so I rode out with it on my right shoulder and headed down hill. I was enjoying the path and was so enthralled that I came to a gate and it wasn't one that I had seen already which means that I have just rode all the way down this hill for nothing. So, I rode all the way back to the top and searched for the right track but to no avail. Bollocks I thought to myself, I am going back down the hill again and through the gate, it has to lead somewhere. I was puzzled as to where the track had disappeared to so I rode slowly and checked every fire trail until I came to the gate again. Through the gate I went and started a long slow climb up yet another hill, by now my legs were aching and I was down to my last drop of water. Looking over my left shoulder through the trees I saw Samford Valley and realised where I was, totally lost, my brain was expecting to see the Valley over my right side and I rationalised the situation. It wasn't long before I found a house in the forest and the start of a bitumen road, but which road? All I thought is why is it such a bloody steep hill, haven't my legs done enough for one day? I checked my mileometer and had covered 9 miles in 2 and a half hours without stopping. I recognised the road and plodded up it in first gear, that's how steep it was, until i reached the summit of Mt. Glorious 550m above sea level.

Now it's downhill all the way home, yippee came out of my mouth as the speedo picked up, I was going at 40mph and the hill was fast, so fast that the first turn I almost killed myself. The nobly tyres were causing my back wheel to wobble and my brakes were both giving out a high pitch squealing sound, the wheels locked up and I was skidding downhill at 40mph on the wrong side of the road. It was a good job no other cars were on the road today as I hit the next bend at 30mph on the wrong side of the road. The road got steeper and I couldn't stop, the rubber was seriously getting left on the road and the road sign was warning not to take the next bend at more than 20kph. Oh fuck, I forgot my pedo was in mph and the road signs are in kph and I have only just realised as I am writing this waffle as I sit here in the comfort of my office. By the time I arrived home there was one last very steep hill to conquer, my drive, and that just about wiped me out but I managed it. I went directly to the fridge and grabbed a cold beer and collapsed on the bench next to my fish pond in the front garden.

Those last 6 miles flew so quickly compared to the first 9 and I can't wait to go riding again soon.